Losing life’s keepsakes

All my life’s meaningful physical possessions – including my high school diploma -- were contained in a shoebox when I was a young adult. Yet, I threw them all away in my early 20s in a feeling of anger and worthlessness. Growing up I had lived in the attic of my parents’ house. It was a threadbare room with just a mattress, an unusable desk and some steel shelves. I stored my clothes in a few cardboard boxes. I had little in the way of physical possessions. The few that I owned, I had accumulated in a shoebox. They included old gifts and cards from my first girlfriend, a signature from Doug Gilmour (the captain of the Toronto Maple Leafs from the 1990s), my high school diploma, and other keepsakes. I moved out to live on my own in my first year of university as a result of my parents’ house having been foreclosed. My family would eventually regain possession of our home. But as I was no longer living there, I had given permission to them to rent out my room to help with expenses. Several years later I moved back in with my family and took over a…

The Organ Grinder

I worked in services jobs from age 15 until 24. More than just making extra pocket money, I depended on these positions to support myself and my family. I was a busboy-cum-waiter at the Organ Grinder – a pizza eatery featuring a large theatre organ in Toronto (that closed in November 1996) -- from grade nine through first-year university (age 15 to 21). I bounced around five high schools and had multiple run-ins with the law as a teenager. The Organ Grinder was my anchor of stability. I grew up relatively deprived. The Organ Grinder was my window into middle-class culture. I learned to jive to the Chicken Dance and the YMCA songs to the music of the organ there. I also served thousands of birthday cakes to guests – the restaurant was a popular destination for kids’ birthday parties – even as I had never feted my own birthday. I worked many hours at the Organ Grinder, to the point that I still know the computer codes for the menu items, and I still get dreams / nightmares about working there. It was a loud and busy environment where strong bonds and lasting memories with colleagues were forged. And…

Ben Bernanke’s fish tank

I was a graduate student at Princeton University when Ben Bernanke was the chair of the economics department. I happened to have been in his office the day he was packing and preparing for his move to Washington DC after he had accepted an appointment to become a governor at the Federal Reserve in 2002. Bernanke had a large (200 litre) fish tank in his office. As I spoke to him that day, he mentioned not knowing what to do with his aquarium. I told him that if he did not care to keep it, that I would be happy to take it over. He agreed to my suggestion, and I went about using a dolly to transport it back to my residence on campus. I used the aquarium to raise food fish. I bought live fish from the local Asian supermarket and kept them in the tank until it was time for them to be eaten. I prepared the fish when friends were visiting and usually after we had a few beers. It was always a hilarious experience as I did not have a net to scoop out the fish. What ensued was a long struggle getting the slippery…

Homeless in 1st year at university

I was homeless for a brief period in my 1st year at the University of Toronto. In late September 1995 the bank foreclosed on my parents' house. Although repossession notices were constantly swirling around at that time, we had hitherto always managed to avoid being evicted. However, when I returned home from classes that fateful autumn day (I was a “commuter”), I encountered difficulty while trying to open the door with my key. And then I noticed the shiny new lock and a message taped on the door. For the next two weeks I survived on whatever was in my knapsack and the clothes I was wearing that day. It was a struggle to keep up with my studies; more significantly, the euphoria that I had over my new life at university vanished. I had approached school officials and told them of my situation. They recommended that I seek additional OSAP funds (government-supported student loans). As I was working at a restaurant at the time – and truthfully declared my income in the application – I was denied supplemental support. Although my family eventually regained possession of the house, I decided not to move back in with them. Instead, I…

My German family

I have a “German family”. I have known the Ewerszumrodes since 2004 when they hosted me when I interned in Cologne. I spent time with them again in 2005 when I did a follow-up internship in Frankfurt. I had no connections to or knowledge of Germany before 2004. Based on clichés, I was expecting a distant or transactional relationship with my hosts. But nothing could be further from the truth. The Ewerszumrodes are warm and generous. I don’t remember paying for anything whenever we went out. Mr Ewerszumrode would never let me go to bed without first having a few Apfelwein (apple wine) and beers with him. And their two sons (about the same age as me) took me out with them all the time. My meeting them in 2004 was fortunate. I was depressed at the time and was on the verge of leaving Princeton without finishing my degree. Their kindness helped rejuvenate my spirit to finish the PhD. I always swing by the Ewerszumrodes when I am passing through Germany, including having spent Christmas with them in 2008 and 2014. And of course, no visit is complete until plenty of Apfelwein is imbibed.

Princeton graduation

Fourteen years ago (03 June 2008), I was awarded a PhD (economics) by Princeton. Seventeen years before that, I was awaiting bail at court, held in custody at a youth detention centre with blood caked on my hair. There, began my journey in and out of the justice system throughout my teens. The circumstances of my youth suppressed the (raw) gift I had in scholastics. Beyond my experience with the courts, I bounced around five high schools and worked practically full time since the age of 15 in service jobs up until I went to Princeton. But I applied my talent when it mattered: I gained admission to the University of Toronto (undergraduate) in 1995 and then earned a scholarship to attend Princeton in 1999. But academics was not my priority when I arrived at Princeton. I yearned for experiences that bypassed my youth due to my hardships, and I struggled mentally, socially and emotionally as an outsider (in all aspects of life). Nevertheless, I persevered and my PhD committee gave me the green light to graduate in 2008 (after nearly dropping out in 2004, leaving campus in 2005, and given a false OK in 2006). I did not pursue…

Peasant roots

This is my (extended) family in our ancestral village. We were Chinese peasants. I was literally born on the streets. China was poor in the 1970s. I nearly died because of bad health conditions as a toddler. My family immigrated to Canada 43 years ago today (17 April 1979). We are not a “tiger family”. No one in my extended family went to university (other than me). None of us played musical instruments or had tutors. None of us are doctors or engineers. I was arrested twice as a teenager and mostly raised myself. We were part of the Cantonese immigrant underclass in Canada. Although I left the village decades ago, I still have many vivid memories of it, including the day that my hamlet got its first (communal) black & white TV. The world has changed a lot in the four decades since my family emigrated from our country of birth. China is now prosperous and I live a privileged life crisscrossing the world. Nevertheless, the village – now a part of greater Guangzhou -- remains basic and a throwback to a bygone era, a reminder that development is neither uniform nor universal.

Paul Krugman

Paul Krugman was my PhD advisor when I was a graduate student at Princeton. I first got to know him (in person) when he taught me the PhD course on international trade. I had many lively conversations with him in class, which inspired me to seek him out as my thesis supervisor. He accepted my request. However, given his status as a columnist for the New York Times and public intellectual, he was scarce on time. People often ask me what it was like having him as an advisor. Although he has a reputation in the profession as someone that can be abrasive and confrontational (especially with people with whom he disagrees), he was always nice to me. It was a routine when we met at his office for him to rifle through the many books sent to him for his critique and comments, and he would pass many of them on to me -- including copies of his own books. As a mind, he was amazingly brilliant and able to offer insights and solutions to problems in a matter of seconds, when I had struggled for days or weeks on them. Regardless of anyone’s opinions about his politics, the…